The Psychology of Criticism

Good day! Hope you are taking better decisions and making progress? And hope you are still willing to make more progress?

I must apologize for not publishing this post yesterday. I had a sudden change in my program that I am still adapting to. I will keep posts coming by God's grace even if it is sacrificial. You can still check back on Tuesdays but I may publish before then.

Today, as mentioned last Tuesday, we will be discussing The Psychology of Criticism.
The purpose of the discussion is to let you understand why people criticize because this can help you choose your response to criticism. I am of the opinion that there are no constructive or destructive criticisms, there are only constructive or destructive responses to criticisms. Knowing why people criticize will help you respond constructively to criticism because, as we mentioned last week, you WILL be criticized.

Why Do People Criticize?
Instead of holding on to the popular believe in constructive or destructive criticism, I think a more constructive way to view the issue is by seeing criticism as either immature or mature.
So we will state some of the reasons for criticism under these two categories.

Immature Criticism
Reasons for this include:
  1. to stop pain, physical or emotional
  2. to assert authority
  3. to manipulate or control
  4. to distract others from personal or group weakness
  5. to win approval (of those in pain)
  6. to impress 
  7. etc
Mature Criticism
Reasons under this category include:
  1. to protect the criticized from possible danger
  2. to impact knowledge
  3. to defend the weak
  4. to uphold truth, character and justice
The difference between immature and mature criticism is that the former is self-centered and does not seek to understand the criticized. For example, people who lose their jobs or got a cut in their pays because a company is trying to survive ongoing industrial change may criticize their employer just to get their jobs or more pay. This kind of criticism is immature. It has nothing to do with the process employed by the employer -- whether it was right or wrong. It just means that criticism intended to stop pain is immature. Only children cry at anything that causes pain, they don't want to understand the reason, they don't want to know what another person is going through or has to go through, all they want is that the pain is removed-- even if it is meant for their good.
                                                                       .  .  .

Now how should we deal with criticisms when they come? How does the above apply to our family-life, business or job or position, especially in the leadership? We will continue with that next week as The Psychology of Criticism II.
Until then, be wise as the serpent but gentle as dove.

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